8:30 p.m. - 08.05.03
You'll always be a part of me, I'm part of you indefinately.
You'll always be a part of me, I'm part of you indefinately. Boy, don't you know you can't escape me. Oh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby.

It doesn't feel different enough here. I go through the day understanding only about 60% of the language spoken to me, the food is different, and the foliage grows differently, but it does not feel different in that deeply important way that I thought it would. I can't tell if I am falling into old paths or developing new ones. I can't tell if I am changing, or if I have changed. I feel the same, mostly, save for a few minutes where I have felt the whole world fall into my hands, gathered into a ball that I could, for that moment, understand.

So is this what they mean by "people are people, where ever you go"? Is that why it feels like home, only with different people who don't know me as well and who I don't yet like as intimately or trust not to hurt me?

It's funny to think that everyone at home will be going home soon, and we have not even had midterms yet. How screwy. Speaking of midterms, I have pretty much no idea what I am doing for any of them yet. Probably should get working on that.

I spent today walking around and shopping on my own. I was going to go to Kamakura with the CIEE program for some sightseeing, but have been quite sick and anti-social feeling. And I forgot to set my alarm to wake me up in time to get ready and get halfway across the sity by 9.30. So alas, I will have to go see the Daibutsu on my own should I go at all. I think that my sightseeing parts were burned out in Korea, and I especially dislike trouping around touristy places with 45 other students stating the obvious about whatever structire we are currently visiting. Sorta breaks down any wonder that you could accumulate, and I kinda like wonder.

But it makes me wonder if I ammaking the best of my time here. Is it better to spend time with people, or should I be doing more looking around and being? I always feel like kicking myself when I spend all of my time people experiencing instead of doing other, more supposedly productive things. But, then, why be alone? And aren't people experiences valuable too.

Akiko likes to listen to Mariah Carey, and I am growing not only accustomed to it, but enjoying it. Oh my.

I ain't gonna cry, not gonna beg you to stay, cause I know in my heart that our love will never die.

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