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11:36 a.m. - 25.04.03 This entry is going to be hideously sentimental because I feel like it and am a little homesick right now after what happened this morning. So if you don't want to read it, I forgive you, but reserve the right to yell at you later if I reference it and you don't know what I am talking about :). There's a link to a page about the Simpsons at the bottom if you are really lazy and want to get to some thing that has nothing to do with me at all. The link is followed by a humorous quote. This morning on the train I listened to Guster's Lost and gone forever album. I bought this album right before my high school graduation, and I remember listening to it during my graduation party and around that time. I was obsessed with it for a while (its a really good album, I still think so, even though Parachute is better and my favorite), and so really it just brought back a lot of memories. Not so much memories, though, as... nostalgia? Its difficult to explain. Just feelings. And I was hit with all of this stuff on the train and started tearing up for a while until I managed to get ahold of myself. It was amazing to think how much I have changed since that point. I knew then that things would change, that I would go to college, but I had no idea the scope of what that idea meant. so really I just want to say thank you. Thank you so much for changing my life. thank you for giving me my experiences, thank you for passing my time, thank you for being there when I needed you and when I did not. Thank you for knocking me down and teaching me to be mean and showing me that I'm really not so alone or different, but that I am still a special and important person. Thank you for being nice to me when I cry and for hurting my feelings, thank you for showing me so many new things that I would never have found on my own. Thank you for wasting hours of my time with video games intead of with nothing. Thank you for putting up with me and teaching me that putting up wih me is not putting up with me but something that I deserve every once in a while. thank you for being my soul and being my heart and being my friends. Thank you for breaking my heart and loving me and showing me that my soul can be complete, even if it drives me crazy. Thank you for lowering my attention span to a level that is driving me crazy :) and that prevents me from almost functioning as student. And I cannot possibly even start to really thank everyone on an individual basis, although I may try, so if I come to you gushing with thanks at some point just try not to laugh at me too hard. So Michelle was different then. And while I sort of miss her, I don't really. She wasn't better. She certainly wasn't happier. She was just different. If you want to know what she was like, just look at the early entries in this quadrophenia diary - its there, most of it. It's quirky, and I like it, and it's kind of embarassing in a cute way, but I am glad that it is there and that I won't forget it. And that is why I can't leave diaryland forever, I think - I've had this for over three yeas now, and that's a really long time for me to continue doing anything. And that is also sor of why it's hard for me to write here now. There's just so much history now (and I know that Doug is just going to be making fun of me and going yeah right, I'm just making excuses), and that makes it hard. this point is a diffcult one to explain, but that's kin-da the best I can do. I just love being alive. I'm forever the perky optimist AND the quirky pessimist. And don't make fun of my typing, Tom L., or I will smite you with some sort of angry carp :). I don't know how, or when, or even WHY that is how I will deal with the situation, but it is :p. mwaahhaahaha. Oh, and Apu: I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment.
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